As your child grows up and learns to be independent, they will interact with others in a variety of social settings. Be it at their family gatherings, their school, their hobby classes or their daycare centers, they will meet different people – in your presence or otherwise. And let’s face it, not everyone will mean well. Not everyone will be meant to protect and nurture your child. In fact, some may try to harm your child and touch them inappropriately.
How do you provide them with a safety net that can also help them stand up for themselves? How do you recognize your child and differentiate between these good and bad touches? How do you help them take the right action when faced with a bad touch?
Childhood sexual abuse always begins with a touch that either a child fails to notice or a parent fails to acknowledge. By teaching your child the difference between a good touch and a bad touch, you are essentially preventing him or her from being ready for sexual abuse.
Let them know they can share everything with you
Building a bond of trust with your child is essential at a very early age. You let them know that you are there for them, that you believe in them and will believe them if they want to share anything with you and confide in them.
Teach your child body parts quickly
It never hurts to start teaching your child about sexuality, at least on a basic level. And this part of education starts with teaching your child about private body parts that should not be touched by others.
Let them know that their body is theirs alone
Give them ownership of their body. This means you tell them very early in life that their body is theirs, and theirs alone. It also means giving them the freedom to hug, kiss or pat them on the back, even if they aren’t comfortable with it.
use correct language
When you explain to them about their anatomy, use the right words and correct language. Let them know that there is nothing dirty or bad about their bodies, and that there are differences between a female and male body.
Follow the swimsuit rule
The easiest way to teach your child about a good and bad touch is to follow the swimsuit rule of teaching. Let them know that the areas covered by the swimsuit are private and no one can touch you there. Also tell them that they need to report to you any incidents where an adult has tried to touch them in these private parts.
Teach them about safe touch
Help them understand what safe touch means. When a baby’s mother, father, or doctor touches them, they do so only to make sure their body is safe and to check on them during routine checkups. This is safe touch. No one except these three persons may touch them, or ask them to lift their garments to be examined. You should let your child know that when someone tries to touch them inappropriately, they have every right to say no and firmly say ‘no’ or ‘stop’.
Help them understand that they are not wrong
It is important that the child knows right behavior from wrong, and does not hold himself responsible for someone else’s wrongdoing. You should reassure them that the person who touched them inappropriately is at fault, and that they should not associate and harbor any feelings of guilt for such an incident.
Do not put pressure of affection on the child
You should never impose affection on your child on your end. Be it your own or someone else’s, a warm hug from a relative or a peck from a friend should be encouraged only if your child appreciates it and feels comfortable with it.